[Ken Wood reports on the final event of Gary Manson's
Testimonial Year- the Sportsmen's Dinner at Mackay's Hotel on Saturday 5
November.]
‘A huge success' – that's the unanimous judgement of all of
us who attended the Mackays Hotel event. With everyone on a high after the 5-3
thrashing of Nairn they were clearly on a winner before the bar kitties were
collected and the first orders taken.
After a delicious meal served up very efficiently by Murray
Lamont's team, the 132 diners sat back to listen to the former Rangers and
Scotland star, Andy Goram – ‘The Goalie' – who in the most laid back manner
imaginable gave us a behind the scenes glimpse of his years in football and
particularly the social aspects, telling of off-field escapades in the company
of team-mates such as Ally McCoist and Brian Laudrup. We loved the story of his
visit to stay with the Laudrups in Denmark -while everyone else went
off to Legoland for the day, the Goalie explored the house and found the wine
cellar. Four and a quarter bottles of vintage red wine had been consumed when
the others came back. "£800 a bottle – better not waste it – might as well
finish off the fifth bottle now it's open…. Might as well drink bottle number
six as it's the only one left!" Andy also gave us a witty preview of a 2025
edition of The Sun which reported how Celtic had just won their second league
title in a row (cue jeers from some of the many Rangers supporters present).
That of course was Divisions Three and Two and they were still hoping to win
promotion back to Premier League (cheers from same Rangers supporters and muted
jeers from me and a few others!) Andy went on to inform us that Rangers had
just won their 17th consecutive title, vice-chairman Andy Goram
celebrating by singing songs from the 1960s while chairman Donald Findlay sang
songs from the 1690s.
MC Martin Johnston, a former Highland League referee and now
Formartine United secretary had introduced the top table in witty style, taking
a light hearted pop at Alistair Gunn, the Testimonial Committee chairman, and
not sparing the others either. Martin went on control his audience very well
throughout the evening. His Red/Yellow card game and its £300 prize was won by
Academy supporter and generous sponsor John Sinclair of Sinclair Windows who
beat Grant Steven in the final round – not at all popular with the rest of the
gathering! Martin made an excellent job conducting the auction which went very
well. The top price was £460 paid for a Liverpool
strip signed by Steven Gerrard while a Rangers strip went for £370. Caley
Thistle hospitality for 3 raised £330. A Wick academy strip from the
Testimonial game signed by Academy and Caley Thistle players reached £310. The Game
of Golf for two, next day with Andy Goram and Gary Manson, was so popular that
it became two foursomes with six punters paying £100 each for the privilege.
Comedian Scott Glynn entertained his audience, who were
warned beforehand of the character of his act, with a quick-fire delivery of
anecdotes and quips, mostly of a sexual and/or marital strife nature.
By the time Martin brought proceedings to a close it was
just past midnight so we all
sang "Happy Birthday to you" to Gary Manson's father Dennis who had reached 60
and will have by now collected his bus pass. I liked Martin's closing words.
"If you've enjoyed the night – my name is Martin Johnston. If you haven't
enjoyed it – my name is Dave Edwards!"
The Sunday golf outing went ahead in glorious sunshine and
Andy Goram told me that he was really enjoying his second visit to Caithness. "I was here in 1990 for the World Cup Roadshow
with ‘Coisty'. To arrive at the game at Harmsworth Park
and meet a couple of guys I hadn't seen for a long time – Les Fridge (Nairn County
manager) and Kirkie (Academy boss David Kirkwood) – was good. As for the game-
a fine performance by Wick, though the last time I saw Black and White Stripes
was when we (Rangers in 1995) got humped 4-1 and 4-0 by Juventus. Everybody at
the club looked after Scott (Glynn) and myself really well – good people."
Scott Glynn added, "It was Andy who recommended that I come
up to Wick with him for the dinner. It was a great day – the Academy people
were so generous with their hospitality at the club house and then a lovely
crowd at the dinner – absolutely fantastic – everybody has been so good to us."
As for those of us who enjoyed the occasion – I guess we are
still regaling folk with details of Goram's response to Sir Alex Ferguson when
the Manchester United boss phoned unexpectedly to offer a contract: "F… off,
Coisty!" He assumed it was his old mate doing a wind up. Fergie did call back a
few moments later with something along the lines of: "Get your arse down here
right now, you fat b…ard." Some will
even be passing on salacious gossip about flavoured condoms or London 2012 Olympic
condoms!
